Making Choices

'Trust in the Lord and do good,' says the prophet, 'and dwell in the land, and you shall be fed with its riches.' - Psalms 36:3.

In retrospect, there is sometimes one thing which keeps me back from spiritual advancement and the fervent amendment of my life: the dread of difficulty or of the toil which must be endured in the struggle.

Faced with so many choices and crossroads after ORD (release from duties as a full-time soldier), I often find myself embedded in dilemmas and more trilemmas.

24hrs on my hands. Shall i devote 3hrs to my music, 2hrs to driving lessons, and 1hr to daily Mass? Or shall i devote 3hrs to daily Mass and prayer, 2hrs of reading, 1hr to driving, and 1hr to music?

Et cetera.

A multitude of choices!

Hanceforth, i am mindful of the expectations of my family when its comes to excelling in academia and subsequently my career in order to be a fillial son, and of my own desire to be successful - to be rich, filthy rich enough to own luxury cars, revving Land Rovers, and a bungalow fitted with a jamming studio and a swimming pool.

Recently however, i am even more mindful of the purpose i have found myself inexorably embracing, set before me in the image of the Crucified Saviour.

To die to myself and seek the Lord instead of my own indulgences.

O Lord, it is hard for me to seek You amidst the noise of the world sometimes, and even harder to submit my ambitions and ideals to Your Will for me - albeit acknowledging you as my Personal Saviour and Master of my Life.

What do you want me to do Lord, especially when school starts again? Can you keep holding my hand please?

With so many choices and crossroads Lord, I pray and beseech you, grant me the grace to always make the right choice - that is pleasing to You; for I am your servant and You are in control.

O Lord, You are my alpha and omega!

-rhino 69-