Phantom Love

Having just came back from watching the Phantom of the Opera with Dillon yesterday, I was perturbed to have the tune of "the Music of the night" in my head. Yes, it was a beautifully written song, and the Phantom sang it wonderfully... but I guess part of the lyrics didn't sit well with me.

"Floating, falling,
sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night . . ."

I couldn't help but think that the Phantom was doing what the enemy does best... to get us to give into the darkness. Yes, it may seem romantic... the whole darkness that always seem enticing... and I think the "love" the Phantom seems to proclaim for Christine is as dark as his music. The selfishness and possessive of his apparent love for her... his heartbreak and willingness to kill and to force her to marry him...



And I recognised something in the Phantom... that I have "loved" like that before. Being guys, we all know that there are some things to be said/sung and done which will make a girl who has already some feelings for you fall into your arms. And although I won't claim to be some Romeo or Cassanova, but I think I've done my fair share of such things. Like the Phantom, enticing Christine into the darkness of his music... to lock her and keep her for himself, in his own warped possession... in that dark cellar... That's indeed the Phantom's brand of love: Phantom love - love that seems to be there but is actually a mask for self-fulfillment, self-pleasure, physical intimacy for self-gratification.

And some may say the Phantom is a victim of circumstance - rejected by his own mother, being in a circus, loathed by everyone... but how much could you blame circumstance for the choices he makes? Fr Henri Nouwen, in his book "Here and Now" says "Fatalism is the attitude that makes us live as passive victims of exterior circumstances beyond our control" (p. 78). This seems to be the perfect way for the Phantom to excuse himself.

Similarly, it is very possible that idiots like me could use such fatalistic reasons for engaging in less-than-healthy relationships, without having fully understood the meaning of love and thus being able to love freely and fully. As if singing a super appropriate song to a girl at the opportune moment to make her melt in your arms is true love... Rather, the only way that we as Christians are called to love is that which we have all been given and received freely - the love that compelled Christ to give of His life for atonement of sin. Love that is free, love that is patient and kind, love that is unconditional and therefore demands no reciprocation... love that is sacrificial, love that seeks the best for others (cf. 1 Cor 13).

I'm starting to think that for anyone to love like Christ, then maybe he/she will not be able to contain his/her love for one person through marriage... cos love that overflows can't be contained... I wonder if it is at all possible for couples to love each other through marriage freely, so much so that even when the other has to love others at the expense of personal time with each other, his/her partner will not become jealous or temperamental.

Then again... maybe in the English language, the word "love" is too general and does not have the accurate and clear meanings as the Greek equivalents - "agape", "eros" and "filia". Greek lessons with me, anyone?

Rhino 5