Lenten Reflections

Hi friends,

we're more than halfway through lent. Wow, how far we've come. I think Fr Joe's sermon on Ash Wed was very impactful. "Everytime you enter the church and see the banner, search yourself if you've done more of: prayer, fasting and abstinence"

I've realised that abstaining from meat is becoming easier, apart from my hunger pangs. Perhaps abstaining from the things that are not of God, things that you may desire most, but you know with a definite certainty that are not set right with God. Oh common, we all have them. It's almost as if i heard God say, "Eat meat all you want Daniel. Give (that) up."

I do think God is quite straightforward and in your face, when you allow Him to. But often, it is us who squirm at the truth, perhaps feigning that we didn't really catch that, when we know full well with our hearts, what is expected of us. Why use broken telephone when we got spiritual broadband?

I can't really rem when i said those things i mentioned to No.5, perhaps on one of our weary train rides back to church.. Well, i've been challenged this lent:

1. To not take the season of Lent as a superb self-justified reason for life being difficult, prayer lives being dry, increased temptations, ministry being tiring. Not to say that lent isn't a time of testing, but i wonder how much of our woes are self-afflicted or God-allowed. It'll be quite sad to live in grime and believe with all our heart that God had intended for us to be in that grime this lent. "This must be the lesson that God is teaching me" Nonsense.


2. To allow ourselves to muck ard in the grime and sh*t, expecting a "Ressurection- experience" at easter. Perhaps something with the force of 10 atom bombs, shaking our realities and world, and *poof, God the little genie in a bottle(refer to previous posts) will deliver us from our struggles. Let's not forget it was Jesus's obedience to the Father's will that led Him down that road to Calvary first. That it was the cross that crushed Him, the hurt and humiliation he bore, the obedience to a state of abandonment ("Father, why have you forsaken me") and obedience to death on a cross. (emptying His humanity) I think we have a tendency to entertain our temptations more in Lent(aka pt 1), thinking its "meant-to-be" and expecting everything will be fine and dandy come Easter.

3. That after a few years in ministry, i realise that the best way i can be a channel of God's grace is to totally empty of myself, to not have any expectations, recall any past experiences of witnessing God's glory through worship/ or an event/camp, and then when asked to serve in ministry again, try to humanly construct an experience of God. I would think it better to start totally afresh, naked, vulnerable, not knowing what to do. - only then can we and will we turn to the Spirit, who will "teach us all that we need to know", teach us how to let ourselves be used by the power from on high, for God to love His people through our obedience and acts of worship to Him.

4. That many are tired in ministry as a result of "doing". No judgements here, for i used to take on loads of ministry work, living by a motto of "If God wills me to serve, i will. No ifs, no buts" Perhaps even a point of time relishing how "obedient" i was, and that desire to serve God was what kept me going. Sunday after sunday, night after night. Right intentions, misguided realisation? Till i was challenged by my SD, "How do you know that it is actually God who is speaking to you, telling you, Daniel, i want you to do this." (often through the voice of a church uncle/auntie, eh...i need help for this and that...or a church leader through the phone..) And the realisation then was, i didn't know. *gulps

Mario and i were sharing last week, that perhaps it is easier jus to say 'YES', (not to God, but whatever comes our way) than to seek God in prayer to see if it was really Him calling us. Especially now in the midst of the YES program, we hear many leaders urging us to say YES. Let's re-focus our efforts and desires to saying YES to God and God alone, unless you already find that easy to do. My SD is someone whom i see live by the example of "What is God calling me to do now?" It is both very difficult to seek the Lord's call and to live in the now.

5. That as God continues to purify our intentions, and reveals His love for us, and uses the people/experiences in our lives to teach us what love really is, the first and most important purpose of this is that, first, we realise the magnitude of God's love for me. A personal love, that we can't comprehend, somehow we relish every now and then, but when we fall into sin, it shows that somehow, that realisation hadn't sunk in fully yet. Yet, a common focus is on how much we love God. Well, no matter how much i try, or can express it, it remains a tiny fraction of what God has in store for me. A grain of sand on the beach.

We love you Lord, because you first loved us.

That, once again, if i can't love the one who loves me the most, how can i even claim to love anyone else. It just doesn't make sense, even when thought through with the eyes of the world. Let us continue to turn our eyes to Jesus this remainder of Lent, that the things of the world may grow dim in the light of His glory and grace...

Rhino No. 7