Love was when...
Happy CNY eve everyone!
Just came back from a reunion dinner at my auntie's place. Yum! Loads of food, lovely atmosphere of bubbling steam boat and food, with hearty jokes cracked(maybe its just the genes.ha)whilst everyone gathers round the table to share the meal. My kid cousins growing older, seeing myself and my brother transition to young adults, with a "life of opportunity ahead of us", our parents, uncles and aunties growing a few more strands of white hair, and amidst the eating and slurping of the soup, inevitably we remember the members of our family who have passed on, to return home to the Lord.
I vividly remember the way my uncle used to sit in the kitchen, how he cleared his throat, a simple man, seemingly nonchalent, but had a heart that truly cared for his family. As my cousin was putting a piece of food into his mouth, he commented that the dish was a favourite of my late grandmother.
The meal continued, everyone ate their full, and after some fellowship, we left our separate ways. I left the place, feeling a stirring in my heart, like something had changed within me. These are people close to my heart, people whom i cherish, whom God has placed in my life for me to love, and people who loved me unconditionally, a small tangible sign of God's love for me.
Instead of a common experience of a flooding realisation of God's love over me, i began to fill rather nostalgic and i questioned God. "Why does it work this way God? What is this life that You give and then You take away? Why do You allow us to fall in love only to leave us feeling sad and sorely missing the person? Do You have to resort to this so that i would know You are the maker and that i should put You No 1 in my life?!"
For that moment, i recalled a mandarin series "My Date with A Vampire"
which i watched some years back. I could relate to the vampire who was so afraid to fall in love again, only to see his mortal sweetheart pass on with old age. (vampires don't die.. in the show at least) And the cycle repeats again, him moving on with life, ups and downs, adventures and all, but by His immortality, and interactions with those around him, till love "cruelly" captures his heart again.
It sometimes does seem a little like that in my Christian walk, that we are called to love and love again, regardless of us being hurt. It sounds simple to say "If you truly love, you'll get hurt. But does that mean you don't want to love?" However, honestly, my heart really wants to take a break. I'd be lying if i told you i want to get hurt again.
My God's Enough
Barlow Girl
- Ps 73
Rhino No.7
Just came back from a reunion dinner at my auntie's place. Yum! Loads of food, lovely atmosphere of bubbling steam boat and food, with hearty jokes cracked(maybe its just the genes.ha)whilst everyone gathers round the table to share the meal. My kid cousins growing older, seeing myself and my brother transition to young adults, with a "life of opportunity ahead of us", our parents, uncles and aunties growing a few more strands of white hair, and amidst the eating and slurping of the soup, inevitably we remember the members of our family who have passed on, to return home to the Lord.
I vividly remember the way my uncle used to sit in the kitchen, how he cleared his throat, a simple man, seemingly nonchalent, but had a heart that truly cared for his family. As my cousin was putting a piece of food into his mouth, he commented that the dish was a favourite of my late grandmother.
The meal continued, everyone ate their full, and after some fellowship, we left our separate ways. I left the place, feeling a stirring in my heart, like something had changed within me. These are people close to my heart, people whom i cherish, whom God has placed in my life for me to love, and people who loved me unconditionally, a small tangible sign of God's love for me.
Instead of a common experience of a flooding realisation of God's love over me, i began to fill rather nostalgic and i questioned God. "Why does it work this way God? What is this life that You give and then You take away? Why do You allow us to fall in love only to leave us feeling sad and sorely missing the person? Do You have to resort to this so that i would know You are the maker and that i should put You No 1 in my life?!"
For that moment, i recalled a mandarin series "My Date with A Vampire"
which i watched some years back. I could relate to the vampire who was so afraid to fall in love again, only to see his mortal sweetheart pass on with old age. (vampires don't die.. in the show at least) And the cycle repeats again, him moving on with life, ups and downs, adventures and all, but by His immortality, and interactions with those around him, till love "cruelly" captures his heart again.It sometimes does seem a little like that in my Christian walk, that we are called to love and love again, regardless of us being hurt. It sounds simple to say "If you truly love, you'll get hurt. But does that mean you don't want to love?" However, honestly, my heart really wants to take a break. I'd be lying if i told you i want to get hurt again.
My God's Enough
Barlow Girl
I've had enough of living life for only me"Lord, I am always with You, you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.."
And reaching just for the things
That keep destroying me
So sick of envying, yeah, the lives of so many I see
Somehow believing that they have what I need
My God's enough for me
This world has nothing I need
In this whole life I've seen
My God's enough, enough for me
I can't explain why I suffer though I live for You
Those who deny You they have it better than I do
Cover my eyes now so that my heart can finally see
That in the end only You mean anything
Who I have in heaven but You
Nothing I desire but You
My heart may fail but not You
You are mine forever
- Ps 73
Rhino No.7
posted by Rhino for God! at 7:45 PM
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