Where my treasure lies
Whenever no.7 and i share with our younger brothers and sisters about managing school, work and ministry, we always end up telling them that priorities are important. And that meant doing the right thing at the right time. But when it comes to the crunch, i find myself having to reconsider and rethink all these...
Recently, I've come to realise that I no longer enjoy what I'm studying in school. What's the point of studying the folly of mankind (I'm a History major) and whatever accumulated knowledge which proves that Man, when seeking to control and shape their destinies without God, always screws up. Moreover, why do I need such in-depth knowledge to teach in a Secondary School or Junior College? And this has made me very "mang zang" about the rigours that I'm currently undergoing now. I'd rather spend ALL my time doing ministry work (including having to handle the lao kok koks in church who think that church is just ANOTHER organisation where they can lord over everyone by saying, "in all my years...") rather than writing my essays. My passion for history has really dried up.
Yet, it's clear that neither can I just up and go, leaving my work to rot. As Hsien Li has reminded me recently, it's important to know my vocation at any given point in time. And yes, God has placed me in NUS for a reason. And although I'm seriously not enjoying studying now, I know that obedience is the key... Obedience to His will for me now. And that means, the dreaded D word... DISICPLINE.
I shall not rehash my time-wasting indiscretions again. The balance has to be struck. Yes, God is my priority. God. Not ministry. God. So if His will for me now is to be a student, yet to serve Him wholeheartedly in His community, then I'll have to do both well, even though I may find the going tough and sometimes unpleasant. Yes, essay writing is starting to become as a chore as trying to share the need for unity with the aunties and uncles in parish!
As Jules reminded us on Sat, "where our treasure lies, there our heart will be." (Matt 6:21) So I'm in the process of selling all my possessions to buy the piece of land that the treasure is buried in. I'm selling my selfish desires, my personal wants, my lazy-bone nature, richman dreams, football obsession. And it's tough. Yet I know that my eyes are afixed to the treasure that is freely given... and I'm firmly gluing my hands onto the plough... and I'm gonna continue to drink from the cup of salvation AND of suffering... and I'll carry my cross onwards.
Rhino5
Recently, I've come to realise that I no longer enjoy what I'm studying in school. What's the point of studying the folly of mankind (I'm a History major) and whatever accumulated knowledge which proves that Man, when seeking to control and shape their destinies without God, always screws up. Moreover, why do I need such in-depth knowledge to teach in a Secondary School or Junior College? And this has made me very "mang zang" about the rigours that I'm currently undergoing now. I'd rather spend ALL my time doing ministry work (including having to handle the lao kok koks in church who think that church is just ANOTHER organisation where they can lord over everyone by saying, "in all my years...") rather than writing my essays. My passion for history has really dried up.
Yet, it's clear that neither can I just up and go, leaving my work to rot. As Hsien Li has reminded me recently, it's important to know my vocation at any given point in time. And yes, God has placed me in NUS for a reason. And although I'm seriously not enjoying studying now, I know that obedience is the key... Obedience to His will for me now. And that means, the dreaded D word... DISICPLINE.
I shall not rehash my time-wasting indiscretions again. The balance has to be struck. Yes, God is my priority. God. Not ministry. God. So if His will for me now is to be a student, yet to serve Him wholeheartedly in His community, then I'll have to do both well, even though I may find the going tough and sometimes unpleasant. Yes, essay writing is starting to become as a chore as trying to share the need for unity with the aunties and uncles in parish!
As Jules reminded us on Sat, "where our treasure lies, there our heart will be." (Matt 6:21) So I'm in the process of selling all my possessions to buy the piece of land that the treasure is buried in. I'm selling my selfish desires, my personal wants, my lazy-bone nature, richman dreams, football obsession. And it's tough. Yet I know that my eyes are afixed to the treasure that is freely given... and I'm firmly gluing my hands onto the plough... and I'm gonna continue to drink from the cup of salvation AND of suffering... and I'll carry my cross onwards.
Lord, as I sell my possessions, continue to fix my mind on You.
That my first priority remains You.
That the work of my hands in ministry remains Yours.
That again, You increase and I decrease.
That my first priority remains You.
That the work of my hands in ministry remains Yours.
That again, You increase and I decrease.
Rhino5
posted by Rhino for God! at 2:30 PM
3 Comments:
haha, lao kok koks is a really funny term, if very apt! one can't help thinking of the reigning church aunties and uncles with wry affection, even if one feels like throttling them during those "garden of gethsemane" meetings!
well, onward ho! with surrendering all those tangible things. if it's any comfort, what you've given up will be returned purified and good, and you'll enjoy them even more cos they've been balanced in Christ!
xl:)
there's a time and place for everything, sometimes a little discomfort, whether physical or mental goes a long way in training us how to handle the harsh reality of 'when things don't go according to the way we want'.
it purges the petulance that we are oft so predisposed to when our wants are put on hold. 'not getting what we want when we want it' builds character, kinda like being made to drive a beat up 15 year old Toyota for the first 5 years of obtaining a licence even though you asked your dad for a Porsche 911. learning to keep the heap of metal that the old toyota is forces one to learn how to maintain a car that often breaks down and become adept at fixing engine trouble.
haha, me and my analogies. but u get the idea clementi.
the fool
yet again, i find that my sentiments are shared with the fool. was going to say the exact thing today (in a different way of course).
doing the things we don't like but are called to do really does hone us and build character, and appreciate the things that lie in sync with our intrinsic personality when they occur in future.
lemming
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