The pain of break-ups and the JOYS of pick-me-ups (Part 1)
I've really pondered for a very very long time abt this topic before finally plucking up the courage and freeing my suspicious and self-conscious mind of negativity to a large enough extent to be able to put this down in words. I truly believe that this episode(s) in the lives of the rhinos deserve to be shared as a testimony to how God has delivered us when we we happily swimming in our own dung.
This will be part 1 cos i will not steal the thunder and share the stories of my fellow rhino brothers for them (for once!). Until they're ready to share theirs...
So here goes nothing.
I was in a relationship with my ex (her name will not be published as i think she deserves confidentiality here) for abt slightly more than 3.5 yrs. It was one that i was really happy in. So much so that i thought to myself: this is it. She's the one.
I tell you... how wrong that idea proved to be.
We had our fair share of problems, ranging from the petty to the ridiculous. Yet throughout the relationship, i failed to realise one thing: i had put her at the CENTRE of my ENTIRE LIFE... even at the expense of God. And she was the one thing that i couldn't let go of; the relationship was one area of my life that i didn't allow God access to. Yes we were both God-fearing, yes, we prayed together, yes we attended mass together... but did we grow closer to God as we grew closer to each other emotionally and otherwise?
The answer was a resounding no... and it became fairly obvious into our 3rd year. Quarrels about spending too much time in church and all surfaced... Sunday mass became more of a routine then an exciting date with our sweet Jesus... and the relationship ceased to give off the aroma of Christ's love...
On hindsight, it was she who was the more intuitive. On many occasions she had brought up the topic of taking a break, cos she felt that she was hampering my spiritual growth and prayer life. Yet i stubbornly clung on in a vain attempt to prevent the inevitable. I was always able to hit her emotional soft spots and buttons so that she would melt again, and all would be fine and dandy... i wished it was that simple.
So when the relationship went stale and awry, i realised that my prayer changed. It became "Lord, Your will be done." And for the 1st time i was telling the Lord to take control of the situation, cos i knew that He would do what's best for the both of us. Ironically, deep within me, i knew it had to end. But i refused to confront facts; facts that i knew was an eventuality that i would have to stare in the face.
So God in His abundant love decided that He would help her fall for another while she was on exchange in the US, and allow me the intuition to guess something was amiss. Initially, i refused to give credit to my gut instincts, until i could not hid the pain and confronted her online... on MSN... with the camera and head piece attached... with that painful look in my eyes. And then that was it... within 5 mins it was over... all 3 yrs and 7 months of emotions, joys, sorrows and love... ended.
Devastation is too strong a word to use. My manly pride still does not allow me to admit that. But i was pretty close. Yet God gave me the grace to soldier on thru work... giving me very very supportive brothers... brothers whom i always taken for granted. These people must be identified... my rhino brothers of course (all 3 of them: Mervin, Daniel and Wilfred), and my brothers in hall (Fabian, Joe, Jason, Daniel Chin and many more) who spent countless hours with me... just talking and sometimes praying together.
And when God moves in our lives, we DEFINITELY know.
The fruits of this episode are obvious. I've grown closer to the person of Christ like never before. I've been able to serve in ministry without the baggage of worry and guilt. My friendship with my brothers and friends have deepened tremedously. I've gotten to know SO MANY PEOPLE that God has placed in my life's journey, people whom i otherwise would not have bothered to have gotten to know... and the list goes on.
Many songs have tided me over this period... from Bon Jovi's soppy songs like Always, to Daniel's cathartic Moving On, to Jay Chou's One Road Towards North (pardon me for the direct translation)... But lemme declare once and for all that none of these are substitutes for God's Word...
So my brothers and sisters, now i can say with conviction that the Lord has saved me in my day of distress. So now i shall say:
Aha! Just realised that both passages are from Chapter 1 verse 21 of both books! See? As Daniel always says, God is always precise.
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!
BLESSED BE HIS GLORIOUS NAME!!!
Rhino 5
This will be part 1 cos i will not steal the thunder and share the stories of my fellow rhino brothers for them (for once!). Until they're ready to share theirs...
So here goes nothing.
I was in a relationship with my ex (her name will not be published as i think she deserves confidentiality here) for abt slightly more than 3.5 yrs. It was one that i was really happy in. So much so that i thought to myself: this is it. She's the one.
I tell you... how wrong that idea proved to be.
We had our fair share of problems, ranging from the petty to the ridiculous. Yet throughout the relationship, i failed to realise one thing: i had put her at the CENTRE of my ENTIRE LIFE... even at the expense of God. And she was the one thing that i couldn't let go of; the relationship was one area of my life that i didn't allow God access to. Yes we were both God-fearing, yes, we prayed together, yes we attended mass together... but did we grow closer to God as we grew closer to each other emotionally and otherwise?
The answer was a resounding no... and it became fairly obvious into our 3rd year. Quarrels about spending too much time in church and all surfaced... Sunday mass became more of a routine then an exciting date with our sweet Jesus... and the relationship ceased to give off the aroma of Christ's love...
On hindsight, it was she who was the more intuitive. On many occasions she had brought up the topic of taking a break, cos she felt that she was hampering my spiritual growth and prayer life. Yet i stubbornly clung on in a vain attempt to prevent the inevitable. I was always able to hit her emotional soft spots and buttons so that she would melt again, and all would be fine and dandy... i wished it was that simple.
So when the relationship went stale and awry, i realised that my prayer changed. It became "Lord, Your will be done." And for the 1st time i was telling the Lord to take control of the situation, cos i knew that He would do what's best for the both of us. Ironically, deep within me, i knew it had to end. But i refused to confront facts; facts that i knew was an eventuality that i would have to stare in the face.
So God in His abundant love decided that He would help her fall for another while she was on exchange in the US, and allow me the intuition to guess something was amiss. Initially, i refused to give credit to my gut instincts, until i could not hid the pain and confronted her online... on MSN... with the camera and head piece attached... with that painful look in my eyes. And then that was it... within 5 mins it was over... all 3 yrs and 7 months of emotions, joys, sorrows and love... ended.
Devastation is too strong a word to use. My manly pride still does not allow me to admit that. But i was pretty close. Yet God gave me the grace to soldier on thru work... giving me very very supportive brothers... brothers whom i always taken for granted. These people must be identified... my rhino brothers of course (all 3 of them: Mervin, Daniel and Wilfred), and my brothers in hall (Fabian, Joe, Jason, Daniel Chin and many more) who spent countless hours with me... just talking and sometimes praying together.
And when God moves in our lives, we DEFINITELY know.
The fruits of this episode are obvious. I've grown closer to the person of Christ like never before. I've been able to serve in ministry without the baggage of worry and guilt. My friendship with my brothers and friends have deepened tremedously. I've gotten to know SO MANY PEOPLE that God has placed in my life's journey, people whom i otherwise would not have bothered to have gotten to know... and the list goes on.
Many songs have tided me over this period... from Bon Jovi's soppy songs like Always, to Daniel's cathartic Moving On, to Jay Chou's One Road Towards North (pardon me for the direct translation)... But lemme declare once and for all that none of these are substitutes for God's Word...
You Give and Take Away...
But my heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be Your Name!
- Matt Redman's "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"
Inspired by Job 1:21
But my heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be Your Name!
- Matt Redman's "Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"
Inspired by Job 1:21
So my brothers and sisters, now i can say with conviction that the Lord has saved me in my day of distress. So now i shall say:
"For me to live is Christ
And to die is gain
No matter what price i pay
I choose to give this life away"
- Parachute Band
Inspired by Philippians 1:21
And to die is gain
No matter what price i pay
I choose to give this life away"
- Parachute Band
Inspired by Philippians 1:21
Aha! Just realised that both passages are from Chapter 1 verse 21 of both books! See? As Daniel always says, God is always precise.
BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!
BLESSED BE HIS GLORIOUS NAME!!!
Rhino 5
posted by Rhino for God! at 4:14 AM
5 Comments:
Hi Clement,
Thanks for sharing.
God's love never ceases! It's such a grace to say "Lord, thy will be done". When you say it with conviction... despite the pain and sorrow, there is a great great peace and even joy within - that's my experience at least!
Keeping all you Rhinos in my prayers.
God bless.
Hi Clement,
Thanks for sharing.
Blessed indeed is the Lord.
Blessed too are you to bless Him in the midst of affliction -His very great gift to sustain your faith and love "though the mountains may fall and hills turn to dust".
May God bless you and keep you close always.
With my prayers,
xl.
thanks for that wonderful testimony bro..
I guess it's always a different experience when the Holy Spirit guides us to articulate His workings in our lives in words where more things we may not have realised are revealed to us.
"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony" - Rev 12:11
Hallelujah!
hey clement..thanks for the great sharing. i can truely feel wat you went thru having been thru it myself.. god's strength is indeed enough for us to pull thru ya? its in these times of brokeness that i can feel his love and comfort so much more. guess u did too! keep drawing strength from him! :P
god bless
Hey gorgeous,
i'm really proud of you! It must've been really difficult to be able to pick yourself up instead of blaming yourself and being afraid to move on. *I was kinda guilty of that* But i guess God takes a little and gives back in abundant.You're a fine rhino, a real good example to follow.You'll be in my prayers!Do believe that God has a perfect plan in store for you!keep smiling!
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